Words: Kit DesLauriers 2023-01-23 10:10:38
“Hilaree Nelson at our camp in the Kangiqtualuk Uqquqti (formerly Sam Ford Fjord) on Baffin Island, Nunavut, in 2022. This was one of the few rest days we had on the trip. Every day she was smiling and full of joy, living life and so inspiring.” Photo: Drew Smith Once upon a time, there was a world where even a skilled woman was very rarely included on a mountain expedition team. One could argue that this era lasted for most of the 20th century. After that came a time when the rare woman of a certain caliber was invited, but was often tokenized, her presence rarely, if ever, equal to that of her male counterparts. Then, of course, there was the calendar of life, when a female athlete became a mother and people postulated that her place was no longer in the hills. We humans operate in these stories told, systems learned and myths pondered. The defining facet of Hilaree Nelson’s life, however, is that she absorbed those same inputs, then created a new world entirely. I first met Hilaree in April 1999 as we folded our laundry on the outdoor tables at la laverie in Argentiere, France. We’d just returned from separate missions, our first international ski expeditions. Hilaree had gone to India, I’d gone to Siberia, yet both were linked with The North Face teams. I saw the dedication and joy Hilaree had for her chosen career path as a professional in the mountains, on skis. I was one step behind her on the path of believing I could do the same. She led with conviction. When asked how she skied on that particular expedition, Hilaree was frank. “Pretty good, but I can do better,” she answered with her characteristic grin. That was Hilaree, always planning how to do it better. I knew I could have done better too, but hearing it from her was like a melody for my heart—to know it was OK to be vulnerable with the truth and to approach it with the intention to improve. For a few years after that first India trip, Hilaree mostly planned expeditions with other women. She didn’t have to, but she wanted to create more opportunity for the most deserving ones she knew. Although being with strong women in the mountains was always important to Hilaree, that phase of women-only expeditions was brief. Hilaree knew that her passion to experience big, beautiful moments was not motivated by gender inclusivity. Hilaree was a mighty woman and carried goddess power inside her. She was quick to say that India was her favorite place and I think that, beyond the wild colors she so loved in that culture and, of course, the mountains, she must also have known that she embodied the highest Hindu goddesses. She held Durga, the goddess of strength and peaceful courage, with her fearlessness beyond most mortals. She found appreciation not only for high peaks, but also for a new pair of jeans or the beauty of wildflowers beneath her feet, just like Lakshmi, the goddess of pleasure, abundance and gratitude. She had love around her and held the deepest of it for her children, Quinn and Grayden. She was Parvati, nurturing and benevolent. She had wisdom with no end. Her consciousness and drive for what she knew to be right uplifted all those around her. She was Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge. Deities are divine energies split into male and female. Nothing can exist without the complement of these two forces. It is a sacred pairing, which Hilaree embodied and then transcended. Nothing could put her into a category, the way we mortals enjoy defining ourselves and each other. Her spirit seemed to have no option but to defy compartmentalization. Over the course of 40 expeditions in 23 years, Hilaree carefully curated the legend she was destined to become. She climbed Everest and then Lhotse inside of 24 hours simply because she had the energy and skills to do it; made a first ski descent of the Lhotse Couloir, a line coveted and tried by some of the best who came before her. She took two trips to Baffin Island that were full of pure exploration and new descents. Spent time in the Myanmar jungle and did an epic on Hkakabo Razi where she was forced to believe in herself even when some others did not. And she returned to Papsura in the Indian Himalaya for a clean-yet-terrifying first descent of the “Peak of Evil,” which she’d dreamed about for almost 20 years. Hilaree has been called an inspiration for women. That is true. She was an inspiration, a friend and a sister to me. Yet she was an inspiration for all of us, and maybe even especially for the men among us as they now know what it can be like to have a powerful and benevolent woman lead her athlete team, break trail, dream bigger, climb higher, raise beautiful children, love deeply, advocate fiercely and, let us not forget, be open, vulnerable and supportive. But above all, Hilaree taught me that in the mountains we just are ourselves. It’s true that, in the end, those peaks don’t care who we are. It’s also the reason Hilaree loved them so much because there she could be free.
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